My apologies...
I can't really expect people to read this thing if I never put anything new up.
It's been a wierd week. Mainly because of a change of residence that took place... Sarah and I have been house sitting for her uncle Jim and his fiance Judi this past week. They have 4 cats, and we watch after the cats while Jim & Judi go on vacation. My favorite of the felines is a persian named "Pinksters" (Pictured here in the sink)... who despite the manly name, is a girl. She's like a trillion years old, and has quite an attitude with the other cats, but I find "attitude" an admirable trait in cats.
Speaking of persians, I work with two guys a bit younger than me at Starbucks who, I just found this out this week, are persian. I had assumed they were greek, and from what they tell me, there's alot of similarities... at least in the "Old world" attitudes that both cultures have. I was talking to Mike, the younger of the two, who are cousins, and he said that the movie "My big fat greek wedding" was an accurate picture of his family... except that it would be big, fat and persian... much like Pinksters.
Anyway, upon finding out that Matt and Mike are both persian, I thanked Mike for Chess, as I am a fan of the game... and he in turn thanked me for television, as he is a large fan of the tube. We both went away happy, equally proud of our incredibly stereotypical acheivements. Needless to say that my best friend Ryan declared that he was not aware that Persia still existed. I mentioned that I thought it did, but it has evaded our news by evading President Bush's awareness of it's existence. Otherwise, he would've bombed it by now, and we'd know it existed. (Which incidently, is why presidents bomb countries... our schools just aren't doing a great job of teaching geography, and unless we obliterate some little no-name country, most American's will continue on their daily lives unaware of it's existence. We're doing them a favor when you think about it. Their 15 minutes of fame come packaged with the patriot missles we're dropping.) Anyway... Matt & Mike's families are from Iran. As Persia does not exist as Persia anymore. Apparently, not since they had an empire. The loss of which complicated things...
Well, I tire of this blathering... so I will retire.
I will return.
Jim
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Monday, November 22, 2004
Ok, so you all stink...
I checked back on my blog after our fantastic weekend in Ohio, only to find that NOONE posted anything.
Was the song too long? Should I not have posted my thoughts on it? I didn't expect a flood of responses, but I didn't expect silence either...
Well, I guess this will remain a mystery to me... at least until I can come up with an interpretation of the song that makes sense to me.
Anyway... Sorry for ranting. I just respect all of your opinions, and I thought that this would be something of interest to you.
Jim
Was the song too long? Should I not have posted my thoughts on it? I didn't expect a flood of responses, but I didn't expect silence either...
Well, I guess this will remain a mystery to me... at least until I can come up with an interpretation of the song that makes sense to me.
Anyway... Sorry for ranting. I just respect all of your opinions, and I thought that this would be something of interest to you.
Jim
Friday, November 19, 2004
Pedro the Lion Song:
To understand why this song is here... read the preceding entry, entitled "Pedro Problems".
"Start Without Me"
Verse 1:
Roll me over, I wanna wave at the kids.
I can't say I prescribe 'cause I don't know what it is.
I'm down at the track I'm just calling to check in.
If you start without me, say my name as you begin.
Chorus:
It's not like it wasn't all for you...
but like everything I do, it's misunderstood.
Verse 2:
Take a message, I'm on my way out of town.
But the wording's important, so make sure you write it down.
There's money behind every picture in the place...
Sincerely, your husband, on my way to the next race.
Bridge:
If it's once, I got it.
If it's twice, I don't...
Repeat Chorus 2x
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok... Now for interpretations:
Interpretation one. Just as it appears to be. (According to me.)
Roll me over, I wanna wave at the kids.
I can't say I prescribe 'cause I don't know what it is.
I have no idea what he's talking about... perhaps the talking character is an invalid. Perhaps elderly...
I'm down at the track I'm just calling to check in.
If you start without me, say my name as you begin.
Ok. The main character is a gambler. "Start without me" possibly refers to a meal?
It's not like it wasn't all for you...
but like everything I do, it's misunderstood.
Maybe a guilt trip or justification of the reason the main character isn't present?
Take a message, I'm on my way out of town.
But the wording's important, so make sure you write it down.
Back to the fact that the main character is not home, and is calling on the phone... The message appears to be to the writer's wife. It would appear that the bridge, "If it's once I got it, if it's twice I don't" is the end of the message listed below.
There's money behind every picture in the place...
Sincerely, your husband, on my way to the next race.
The reference to money implies that the writer might not make it back, or at least not make it back in time to provide for the family's needs... necessitating the wife to know where to find his stashed money.
If it's once, I got it.
If it's twice, I don't...
Perhaps the number of telephone rings he will use as a signal to let her know the outcome of his wager?
Interpretation two. Reachy version... with alot of religious references.
Roll me over, I wanna wave at the kids.
I can't say I prescribe 'cause I don't know what it is.
Still have no idea what he's talking about.
I'm down at the track I'm just calling to check in.
If you start without me, say my name as you begin.
The "track" is a symbol for a place of neglect. The family sees it as a place they never go. A place where they cannot go. In some ways, many christians feel abandoned by God in their everyday life because they do not "feel" Him in a tangible way. The meal eaten without the father, is perhaps a symbol of human life without feeling God's presence in a tangible way... thus, the "Say my name as you begin" refers to prayer. Specifically prayer before a meal. The way it's said, so flatly, implies it being an empty, "going through the motions" tradition.
It's not like it wasn't all for you...
but like everything I do, it's misunderstood.
Perhaps a reference to Christ's sacrifice for us, and the lack of gratitude or aknowledgement of His act, shown on our part?
Take a message, I'm on my way out of town.
But the wording's important, so make sure you write it down.
Perhaps a reference to Jesus' ascention into heaven. The fact that his disciples wrote his words down after he left the earth seems to be a viable interpretation of this line if we keep with the spiritual interpretation...
There's money behind every picture in the place...
Sincerely, your husband, on my way to the next race.
If we continue our line of thinking, perhaps this is an allusion to the value of the content in those writings. All that is needed is to "look behind" what Jesus left us, his message, to realize the riches we have because of Him. (Not money, but strength, peace, and forgiveness)
If it's once, I got it.
If it's twice, I don't...
Absolutely no idea how this would fit into the second interpretation I have provided... Oh well.
So there you have it... opinions welcome and encouraged.
Thanks,
Jim
"Start Without Me"
Verse 1:
Roll me over, I wanna wave at the kids.
I can't say I prescribe 'cause I don't know what it is.
I'm down at the track I'm just calling to check in.
If you start without me, say my name as you begin.
Chorus:
It's not like it wasn't all for you...
but like everything I do, it's misunderstood.
Verse 2:
Take a message, I'm on my way out of town.
But the wording's important, so make sure you write it down.
There's money behind every picture in the place...
Sincerely, your husband, on my way to the next race.
Bridge:
If it's once, I got it.
If it's twice, I don't...
Repeat Chorus 2x
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok... Now for interpretations:
Interpretation one. Just as it appears to be. (According to me.)
Roll me over, I wanna wave at the kids.
I can't say I prescribe 'cause I don't know what it is.
I have no idea what he's talking about... perhaps the talking character is an invalid. Perhaps elderly...
I'm down at the track I'm just calling to check in.
If you start without me, say my name as you begin.
Ok. The main character is a gambler. "Start without me" possibly refers to a meal?
It's not like it wasn't all for you...
but like everything I do, it's misunderstood.
Maybe a guilt trip or justification of the reason the main character isn't present?
Take a message, I'm on my way out of town.
But the wording's important, so make sure you write it down.
Back to the fact that the main character is not home, and is calling on the phone... The message appears to be to the writer's wife. It would appear that the bridge, "If it's once I got it, if it's twice I don't" is the end of the message listed below.
There's money behind every picture in the place...
Sincerely, your husband, on my way to the next race.
The reference to money implies that the writer might not make it back, or at least not make it back in time to provide for the family's needs... necessitating the wife to know where to find his stashed money.
If it's once, I got it.
If it's twice, I don't...
Perhaps the number of telephone rings he will use as a signal to let her know the outcome of his wager?
Interpretation two. Reachy version... with alot of religious references.
Roll me over, I wanna wave at the kids.
I can't say I prescribe 'cause I don't know what it is.
Still have no idea what he's talking about.
I'm down at the track I'm just calling to check in.
If you start without me, say my name as you begin.
The "track" is a symbol for a place of neglect. The family sees it as a place they never go. A place where they cannot go. In some ways, many christians feel abandoned by God in their everyday life because they do not "feel" Him in a tangible way. The meal eaten without the father, is perhaps a symbol of human life without feeling God's presence in a tangible way... thus, the "Say my name as you begin" refers to prayer. Specifically prayer before a meal. The way it's said, so flatly, implies it being an empty, "going through the motions" tradition.
It's not like it wasn't all for you...
but like everything I do, it's misunderstood.
Perhaps a reference to Christ's sacrifice for us, and the lack of gratitude or aknowledgement of His act, shown on our part?
Take a message, I'm on my way out of town.
But the wording's important, so make sure you write it down.
Perhaps a reference to Jesus' ascention into heaven. The fact that his disciples wrote his words down after he left the earth seems to be a viable interpretation of this line if we keep with the spiritual interpretation...
There's money behind every picture in the place...
Sincerely, your husband, on my way to the next race.
If we continue our line of thinking, perhaps this is an allusion to the value of the content in those writings. All that is needed is to "look behind" what Jesus left us, his message, to realize the riches we have because of Him. (Not money, but strength, peace, and forgiveness)
If it's once, I got it.
If it's twice, I don't...
Absolutely no idea how this would fit into the second interpretation I have provided... Oh well.
So there you have it... opinions welcome and encouraged.
Thanks,
Jim
Pedro Problem...
Hi.
Ok, so I've been having this... situation.
Whenever I get a new Pedro the Lion album, I sit down and read the lyrics... then I listen to the album. Then I keep listening and reading until I understand what the songs mean. Half the fun of PTL is the incredibly complex content of his songs. You never get some sappy love song, or bitter rant against bad parents, or a "deep" song that states pop culture beliefs in every other stanza.
You get really weird, complex songs. Developed around weird, complex music. Sung by an incredibly simple, untrained voice. It ends up being a VERY enjoyable experience for me. Until the latest album, and for one reason... There is a song on the record that I do not "get."
For most people, they'd let it go, or not listen to the song, but not me. I am sitting at home on my 1/2 hour break from work ranting about this because I cannot let it go.
So I need your help. I'm going to put the song up in my next post, along with the two interpretations that I've been able to come up with. Neither is complete, and if they were, I probably wouldn't be completely satisfied with the outcome anyway... It's just a really enigmatic song. Full of what seem to be references to Christian ideals, but masked so completely that they seem like the song could be about horse racing as much as a story of the life of Christ... bizarre.
So that's what's coming next. Keep your eyes peeled, and please respond with your own ideas and interpretations.
Jim
Ok, so I've been having this... situation.
Whenever I get a new Pedro the Lion album, I sit down and read the lyrics... then I listen to the album. Then I keep listening and reading until I understand what the songs mean. Half the fun of PTL is the incredibly complex content of his songs. You never get some sappy love song, or bitter rant against bad parents, or a "deep" song that states pop culture beliefs in every other stanza.
You get really weird, complex songs. Developed around weird, complex music. Sung by an incredibly simple, untrained voice. It ends up being a VERY enjoyable experience for me. Until the latest album, and for one reason... There is a song on the record that I do not "get."
For most people, they'd let it go, or not listen to the song, but not me. I am sitting at home on my 1/2 hour break from work ranting about this because I cannot let it go.
So I need your help. I'm going to put the song up in my next post, along with the two interpretations that I've been able to come up with. Neither is complete, and if they were, I probably wouldn't be completely satisfied with the outcome anyway... It's just a really enigmatic song. Full of what seem to be references to Christian ideals, but masked so completely that they seem like the song could be about horse racing as much as a story of the life of Christ... bizarre.
So that's what's coming next. Keep your eyes peeled, and please respond with your own ideas and interpretations.
Jim
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Speaking of Heaven
Ok, so I'm listening to my music at home, and since I've had the song "Heaven" by DJ Sammy in my head, I decided to play it. So I typed "Heaven" into iTunes, and it pulled up every song with that word in it. I played the song, and the "random play" function took me to the next random heaven song... "Meet me in heaven" by Johnny Cash, then to "Heaven is so far away" by the Offspring, then to "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zepplin, and finally to "Such a thing as Glory" by Rich Mullins off of his album "Wind of Heaven, Stuff of Earth."
What a weird music collection I have.
What a weird music collection I have.
Heaven on Clark...
Well, I didn't write anything yesterday because I was dead... but I'm ok now.
We went to see Pedro the Lion & Starflyer 59 on Tuesday night.
The concert started around 8:30 at the Metro, across the street from Wrigley Field, here in Chicago. Our party consisted of Sarah, Me, my best friend Ryan, our good friend Adam, and Sarah's youngest sister Kaitlin (her first concert.)
It was a great show. Starflyer was amazing... very full sound for a guitarist and a drummer. Aside from their set being very short, I couldn't have asked anything more from them. They did a great, upbeat version of the song "I Drive Alot" off of the album "Fashion Focus", otherwise, it seemed that all the rest of the songs were off of their new album "I am the Portugese Blues."
Pedro the Lion performed next, with more people on stage than I've ever seen them have. David Bazan, who for many years, has performed by himself or with the man he now refers to as T. William Walsh. This time, he and T.W. were joined by a fantastic (and balding) bass player, an incredibly skinny sound-guy, and a keyboard player. I couldn't have picked a better group of songs myself, and the first 6 or 7 were back to back with no stopping whatsoever. This was highly unexpected, because of how much David likes to talk to the crowd and answer their questions... after those first 6 or so songs, he opened up to questions to give the band a break and then dove right back in with about 4 more songs. After that, it was introduction time, and more questions... From there on, it was straight music, one broken guitar string, and a few more q and a sements. Very cool. David was so much more on top of his game then when I saw him last. The songs were creatively twisted a bit, and he really jumped around his discography. I think that I heard only 3 songs from any one album. They were pretty spread around. Kaitlin really enjoyed the show, and came up close to the stage with me during the Starflyer 59 set. The rest of our crew hung back, except for Sarah, who came up closer with me during the PTL set. What an enjoyable evening.
We took the CTA "L" trains to and from the concert. Always a blast for me. I really love riding the L's. There is a great deal of fear in the south side suburbs concerning the L's, but I feel it's unwarranted. They are very convenient, and run all over the city.
We got home around 1am, which was unfortunate for me, since I had to be at work to open at 5 am. Needless to say, I went to sleep upon walking in the door. Sarah had to stay up till 3 doing homework, and got up at 6:30, so we were in the same sleepy boat yesterday. I don't work today, so I've been chillin. Watched the movie M.A.S.H. for the first time today, and as a lover of the TV show that followed it, I must say I was incredibly impressed. The only fault I had with the movie was that right at the end, they felt the need for some reason to send Hawkeye Pierce and another doctor "home"... One of the important aspects of the show was the overwhelming sense of "We're never going to get home" that pervaded the attitudes of those at the 4077th. In a movie that short, it seemed like they were implying that you go to war for a couple weeks, play some pranks, some football, and operate on a bunch of wounded soldiers, then go home. Granted, the TV show had a much larger platform (longer run) to communicate what it was like to serve in Korea in an Army hospital, but in the movie I never felt that the 4077th was ever 3 miles from the front lines. It seemed more like a summer camp with a tri-og.
Anyway, that's it for now.
Enjoy your day, and as Jerry Springer says, "Take care of yourselves, and eachother..."
Jim
P.S. It should be noted that this entire post was written while listening to the song "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd... the song is like approximately 14 days long...
We went to see Pedro the Lion & Starflyer 59 on Tuesday night.
The concert started around 8:30 at the Metro, across the street from Wrigley Field, here in Chicago. Our party consisted of Sarah, Me, my best friend Ryan, our good friend Adam, and Sarah's youngest sister Kaitlin (her first concert.)
It was a great show. Starflyer was amazing... very full sound for a guitarist and a drummer. Aside from their set being very short, I couldn't have asked anything more from them. They did a great, upbeat version of the song "I Drive Alot" off of the album "Fashion Focus", otherwise, it seemed that all the rest of the songs were off of their new album "I am the Portugese Blues."
Pedro the Lion performed next, with more people on stage than I've ever seen them have. David Bazan, who for many years, has performed by himself or with the man he now refers to as T. William Walsh. This time, he and T.W. were joined by a fantastic (and balding) bass player, an incredibly skinny sound-guy, and a keyboard player. I couldn't have picked a better group of songs myself, and the first 6 or 7 were back to back with no stopping whatsoever. This was highly unexpected, because of how much David likes to talk to the crowd and answer their questions... after those first 6 or so songs, he opened up to questions to give the band a break and then dove right back in with about 4 more songs. After that, it was introduction time, and more questions... From there on, it was straight music, one broken guitar string, and a few more q and a sements. Very cool. David was so much more on top of his game then when I saw him last. The songs were creatively twisted a bit, and he really jumped around his discography. I think that I heard only 3 songs from any one album. They were pretty spread around. Kaitlin really enjoyed the show, and came up close to the stage with me during the Starflyer 59 set. The rest of our crew hung back, except for Sarah, who came up closer with me during the PTL set. What an enjoyable evening.
We took the CTA "L" trains to and from the concert. Always a blast for me. I really love riding the L's. There is a great deal of fear in the south side suburbs concerning the L's, but I feel it's unwarranted. They are very convenient, and run all over the city.
We got home around 1am, which was unfortunate for me, since I had to be at work to open at 5 am. Needless to say, I went to sleep upon walking in the door. Sarah had to stay up till 3 doing homework, and got up at 6:30, so we were in the same sleepy boat yesterday. I don't work today, so I've been chillin. Watched the movie M.A.S.H. for the first time today, and as a lover of the TV show that followed it, I must say I was incredibly impressed. The only fault I had with the movie was that right at the end, they felt the need for some reason to send Hawkeye Pierce and another doctor "home"... One of the important aspects of the show was the overwhelming sense of "We're never going to get home" that pervaded the attitudes of those at the 4077th. In a movie that short, it seemed like they were implying that you go to war for a couple weeks, play some pranks, some football, and operate on a bunch of wounded soldiers, then go home. Granted, the TV show had a much larger platform (longer run) to communicate what it was like to serve in Korea in an Army hospital, but in the movie I never felt that the 4077th was ever 3 miles from the front lines. It seemed more like a summer camp with a tri-og.
Anyway, that's it for now.
Enjoy your day, and as Jerry Springer says, "Take care of yourselves, and eachother..."
Jim
P.S. It should be noted that this entire post was written while listening to the song "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd... the song is like approximately 14 days long...
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Workety Work Work Work...
Well, I just got home from a rousing night of work.
I am really enjoying Starbucks. I finally told Bob off this week, and am not answering his calls anymore. He threatened a bogus lawsuit, but I've gotten alot of advice about it, and everyone says that he's just bluffing... that noone would go to court over the amount of money that he's trying to intimidate me into giving him. The guy's just rotten. I've had such a hard time being Christlike to this guy, but that's what trials are... trying.
Anyway, back to the "Bucks"... I'm becoming VERY good on the espresso bar. Which is great, because it's easily the most difficult thing to do there, and earns me respect at a much faster pace then anything else.
I am really enjoying Starbucks. I finally told Bob off this week, and am not answering his calls anymore. He threatened a bogus lawsuit, but I've gotten alot of advice about it, and everyone says that he's just bluffing... that noone would go to court over the amount of money that he's trying to intimidate me into giving him. The guy's just rotten. I've had such a hard time being Christlike to this guy, but that's what trials are... trying.
Anyway, back to the "Bucks"... I'm becoming VERY good on the espresso bar. Which is great, because it's easily the most difficult thing to do there, and earns me respect at a much faster pace then anything else.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Cancer...
Argh.
My grandma sent us an email yesterday, letting the family know that she has been diagnosed with skin cancer. Please keep her, and the family, in your prayers in future weeks.
Cancer is one of those things that I feel reminds us how little control we truly have over the world around us. In truth, all we can do in this situation is do our best medically, and leave the results in God's hands.
That's all for now.
Jim
My grandma sent us an email yesterday, letting the family know that she has been diagnosed with skin cancer. Please keep her, and the family, in your prayers in future weeks.
Cancer is one of those things that I feel reminds us how little control we truly have over the world around us. In truth, all we can do in this situation is do our best medically, and leave the results in God's hands.
That's all for now.
Jim
Saturday, November 06, 2004
Pedro the Lion
ALRIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!
My favorite band, Pedro the Lion, and my third favorite band, Starflyer 59, are going to be playing together here in Chicago on Tuesday, November 23rd!!! They are playing at the Metro, which is across the street from Wrigley Field, and it is going to be GREAT!!!
I am so excited! I have seen PTL two times, but I have not yet seen Starflyer. My brothers, Stephen and Ezra are really big fans of Starflyer 59, and would probably love to come too, but Pedro the Lion's content is pretty adult, so that wouldn't do. Anyway, Ryan is coming, and our friend Adam, and probably our friend Jack and his son... (Hence the call in the previous post.)
My favorite band, Pedro the Lion, and my third favorite band, Starflyer 59, are going to be playing together here in Chicago on Tuesday, November 23rd!!! They are playing at the Metro, which is across the street from Wrigley Field, and it is going to be GREAT!!!
I am so excited! I have seen PTL two times, but I have not yet seen Starflyer. My brothers, Stephen and Ezra are really big fans of Starflyer 59, and would probably love to come too, but Pedro the Lion's content is pretty adult, so that wouldn't do. Anyway, Ryan is coming, and our friend Adam, and probably our friend Jack and his son... (Hence the call in the previous post.)
Wham, Bam, Thank you... M'am.
Ok. I know that at times, when talking on the phone, I cannot be mistaken for Barry White, or Henry Kissenger, or James Earl Jones... I know that on many occassions I have been called "miss" or "M'am" and the like because of the "Softness" of my voice. I have not, however... until tonight... been called "Grandma???"
That's right... GRANDMA.
I called my friend Jack, and his daughter answered. (She is like 18, so don't let her off the hook for her age.) I asked for Jack, and she said "Grandma???" NO! THIS IS NOT A WOMAN! OR AN OLDER WOMAN FOR THAT MATTER! OR YOUR OWN GRANDMOTHER!!! ARGH!
So that's all I have to say about that.
Oh. I'm a lone wolf tonight. Sarah and I were planning to go to the Chicago Humanities Festival this year. She gets in free to everything because of one of her professors, and last year we had a blast. BUT... poverty reared it's ugly head, and we just don't have the money for both of us to go. So we talked about it, and several of her friends from school are going, so we decided that she should go without me. It's really a shame, and I hate to sleep alone, but it's only a night. She'll be staying in a hostile (For those of you who don't know what a hostile is, it's a really bare bones hotel room. European thing...) downtown with a girl from school. I've decided to go out with my best friend Ryan, and a few of our friends. We'll probably end up here at our place afterwards, and then I'll have church in the morning, so I'll be busy.
Today at Starbucks was busy. It's only going to get more so as the Holiday season goes on... Let's hope tips increase.
Well, that's it for now.
Jim
That's right... GRANDMA.
I called my friend Jack, and his daughter answered. (She is like 18, so don't let her off the hook for her age.) I asked for Jack, and she said "Grandma???" NO! THIS IS NOT A WOMAN! OR AN OLDER WOMAN FOR THAT MATTER! OR YOUR OWN GRANDMOTHER!!! ARGH!
So that's all I have to say about that.
Oh. I'm a lone wolf tonight. Sarah and I were planning to go to the Chicago Humanities Festival this year. She gets in free to everything because of one of her professors, and last year we had a blast. BUT... poverty reared it's ugly head, and we just don't have the money for both of us to go. So we talked about it, and several of her friends from school are going, so we decided that she should go without me. It's really a shame, and I hate to sleep alone, but it's only a night. She'll be staying in a hostile (For those of you who don't know what a hostile is, it's a really bare bones hotel room. European thing...) downtown with a girl from school. I've decided to go out with my best friend Ryan, and a few of our friends. We'll probably end up here at our place afterwards, and then I'll have church in the morning, so I'll be busy.
Today at Starbucks was busy. It's only going to get more so as the Holiday season goes on... Let's hope tips increase.
Well, that's it for now.
Jim
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Where I've been
My friend Kristen made a map on her blog of where she's been, so I thought I'd do the same.
I've never been outside the U.S.
Too bad...
Jim
Click Here to see my nice map.
I've never been outside the U.S.
Too bad...
Jim
Click Here to see my nice map.
"Shake it like a baby" and other quoteable phrases
Well, I've become quite the popular man on campus at Starbucks. Despite the fact that I was the only person in the place today pleased with the outcome of the U.S. presidential race. Bush, despite his faults, is so much better than Kerry, and I feel safer with him in the oval office. But back to my story... I have, since I started at Starbucks, aquired several appendages to my nametag which now reads
Jim "Shake it like a baby - Old lady chick magnet - Bush lover" Miller.
Explanation:
"Shake it like a baby" It started as a somewhat morbid offhand comment by myself, and has grown to a small cultural phenomenon at my Starbucks. I was on my way into the backroom kitchen area when I passed my coworker Kristen Condrin making whipped cream. The process of making whipped cream is this: Fill a stainless steel whipped cream "gun" with 16 oz. of heavy whipping cream, 7 pumps of vanilla syrup, screw cap on, and attach a Co2 cartridge, thus charging the whipped cream. After charging, shake vigorously for about 20 seconds. Kristen was, at that moment, attempting to shake her newly charged whipped cream, but instead of handling it easily and shaking it to her side, she was gripping it with both hands, holding it in front of herself, glaring at it as she shook it. "Man!" I commented, "You're shaking that like a baby!" She took one horrified moment, stared at me, and then burst out laughing. She then proceeded to relate the story to anyone who would listen, and it was deemed the funniest, and most offensive thing that anyone had heard in quite awhile. This has apparently become my known talent there. "If you want to hear a completely offensive, and wonderfully funny, go to Jim." I have to admit that I'm a little proud of it. I probably shouldn't be, but then, where would all my stories come from? So the saying has spread, and now everybody "Shakes it like a baby." Funny note: A girl that worked for one day and quit, was there long enough to hear the story, and had the funniest reaction to date. I was walking by her as she was shaking a whipped cream, and she started mimicing Kristen's "baby shake movement" and followed it by holding the whipped cream to her chest, stroking it, and murmering "Mommy loves you... mommy loves you..." It was the most wonderful, morbid thing I've seen in awhile, and I laugh every time I think of it.
Another offensive/funny thing I've said was something that just popped out of my mouth while 2 store managers, a shift manager, and our district manager were standing nearby. It all started when I found a bag from Kohl's on the counter in front of my register. Inside were two, unopened packs of fishnet stockings. Alarmed, but busy, I put them on the counter behind me, and continued to work. About a half hour later, a regular customer of ours came to claim them. She is a british woman, about 33 or 34, and closely resembles Susan Powter. Strangely enough, she is a fitness trainer. Well, when she came up and inquired as to whether we had found a bag from Kohl's, I burst out "The fishnet stockings? Oh, that's great! I was afraid some big hairy guy was going to come in and say 'Did anyone find my stockings?'" There was a gigantic silence, which was followed by everybody laughing, which is good, because I suddenly realized that the only people nearby were all people who could see me fired. But they loved it, and the customer loved it, and everybody was happy.
2nd Explanation:
"Old Lady Chick Magnet"
It is common knowledge to my friends and my wife that if you are a woman, and you are over 60, and are not in my family, you are completely powerless to my old lady charm. I am the biggest Old Lady Chick Magnet on earth. (Note to anyone over 60 reading this, Grandma and Grampa, this means you, I did not mean to imply that you are "old", but to people my age, 40 is like half dead.) So anyway... I have recieved over 3 $5 tips and half a dozen compliments to the manager, thanks to my "chicks." Not to mention that at least 20 of my "chicks" know my name and ALWAYS say hi. When I was a waiter at Chili's, I waited on two women of the age group in question, and at the end of their meal, the woman who was perhaps a bit more swept away by my debonair banter stood up and said "Where's my hug?" so I hugged her. I got a really good tip, too. The other waiters and waitresses thought that she was a relative, and to date, I am the only waiter I know of that has had this happen. I'm sure that waitresses at Hooters get this all the time, but to me, it's new.
3rd Explanation:
"Bush Lover"
Well, this is just due to GW, and my hatred of Kerry. I don't agree with the way that George goes about doing things, but at least I agree they should be done. This is often the case in life, and it really is a pretty good option. Short of a candidate that does what I want, the way I want, Bush is pretty good. Definitely better than Kerry, who stands for stuff I hate, and doesn't even do those things well. Let alone lead the country. But all these things have been exempt from my arguments there. I do NOT want to get fired over something stupid like stating my political views to a bunch of customers and offending people. I'd much rather be fired over saying something funny and offensive. Just kidding. I don't want to get fired at all, so when asked, I have restricted myself to saying "I don't believe in giving promotions to people who can't even do their current job right. In my opinion, Kerry and Edwards are two of the worst senators the US has seen, and don't deserve a higher position." This has earned me the spurning of my peers, and while they are unified in their Bush-hatred, my Kerry-hatred is all they need to deem me a "Bush-lover." Reminds me of second grade. Please stand by your desks as we say the pledge of allegience.
Well. I'm tired, so that's all for now. Hope you enjoyed my newfound titles.
Jim
Jim "Shake it like a baby - Old lady chick magnet - Bush lover" Miller.
Explanation:
"Shake it like a baby" It started as a somewhat morbid offhand comment by myself, and has grown to a small cultural phenomenon at my Starbucks. I was on my way into the backroom kitchen area when I passed my coworker Kristen Condrin making whipped cream. The process of making whipped cream is this: Fill a stainless steel whipped cream "gun" with 16 oz. of heavy whipping cream, 7 pumps of vanilla syrup, screw cap on, and attach a Co2 cartridge, thus charging the whipped cream. After charging, shake vigorously for about 20 seconds. Kristen was, at that moment, attempting to shake her newly charged whipped cream, but instead of handling it easily and shaking it to her side, she was gripping it with both hands, holding it in front of herself, glaring at it as she shook it. "Man!" I commented, "You're shaking that like a baby!" She took one horrified moment, stared at me, and then burst out laughing. She then proceeded to relate the story to anyone who would listen, and it was deemed the funniest, and most offensive thing that anyone had heard in quite awhile. This has apparently become my known talent there. "If you want to hear a completely offensive, and wonderfully funny, go to Jim." I have to admit that I'm a little proud of it. I probably shouldn't be, but then, where would all my stories come from? So the saying has spread, and now everybody "Shakes it like a baby." Funny note: A girl that worked for one day and quit, was there long enough to hear the story, and had the funniest reaction to date. I was walking by her as she was shaking a whipped cream, and she started mimicing Kristen's "baby shake movement" and followed it by holding the whipped cream to her chest, stroking it, and murmering "Mommy loves you... mommy loves you..." It was the most wonderful, morbid thing I've seen in awhile, and I laugh every time I think of it.
Another offensive/funny thing I've said was something that just popped out of my mouth while 2 store managers, a shift manager, and our district manager were standing nearby. It all started when I found a bag from Kohl's on the counter in front of my register. Inside were two, unopened packs of fishnet stockings. Alarmed, but busy, I put them on the counter behind me, and continued to work. About a half hour later, a regular customer of ours came to claim them. She is a british woman, about 33 or 34, and closely resembles Susan Powter. Strangely enough, she is a fitness trainer. Well, when she came up and inquired as to whether we had found a bag from Kohl's, I burst out "The fishnet stockings? Oh, that's great! I was afraid some big hairy guy was going to come in and say 'Did anyone find my stockings?'" There was a gigantic silence, which was followed by everybody laughing, which is good, because I suddenly realized that the only people nearby were all people who could see me fired. But they loved it, and the customer loved it, and everybody was happy.
2nd Explanation:
"Old Lady Chick Magnet"
It is common knowledge to my friends and my wife that if you are a woman, and you are over 60, and are not in my family, you are completely powerless to my old lady charm. I am the biggest Old Lady Chick Magnet on earth. (Note to anyone over 60 reading this, Grandma and Grampa, this means you, I did not mean to imply that you are "old", but to people my age, 40 is like half dead.) So anyway... I have recieved over 3 $5 tips and half a dozen compliments to the manager, thanks to my "chicks." Not to mention that at least 20 of my "chicks" know my name and ALWAYS say hi. When I was a waiter at Chili's, I waited on two women of the age group in question, and at the end of their meal, the woman who was perhaps a bit more swept away by my debonair banter stood up and said "Where's my hug?" so I hugged her. I got a really good tip, too. The other waiters and waitresses thought that she was a relative, and to date, I am the only waiter I know of that has had this happen. I'm sure that waitresses at Hooters get this all the time, but to me, it's new.
3rd Explanation:
"Bush Lover"
Well, this is just due to GW, and my hatred of Kerry. I don't agree with the way that George goes about doing things, but at least I agree they should be done. This is often the case in life, and it really is a pretty good option. Short of a candidate that does what I want, the way I want, Bush is pretty good. Definitely better than Kerry, who stands for stuff I hate, and doesn't even do those things well. Let alone lead the country. But all these things have been exempt from my arguments there. I do NOT want to get fired over something stupid like stating my political views to a bunch of customers and offending people. I'd much rather be fired over saying something funny and offensive. Just kidding. I don't want to get fired at all, so when asked, I have restricted myself to saying "I don't believe in giving promotions to people who can't even do their current job right. In my opinion, Kerry and Edwards are two of the worst senators the US has seen, and don't deserve a higher position." This has earned me the spurning of my peers, and while they are unified in their Bush-hatred, my Kerry-hatred is all they need to deem me a "Bush-lover." Reminds me of second grade. Please stand by your desks as we say the pledge of allegience.
Well. I'm tired, so that's all for now. Hope you enjoyed my newfound titles.
Jim
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